I Want To Be Pushed Around A Rink By Artemi Panarin

The Colorado Avalanche posted this on twitter.com today…

First off, I tried searching the vast internets for at least 10 minutes trying to find this actual story but couldn’t. So, I’m left to speculate that this a make-a-wish-esque type situation where a kid that is going through something I can’t fathom gets to get on the ice with one of his/her heroes. And that’s awesome. Hat tip to the Avs. I also tried to figure out what the deal with the #OhSnap thing was…. is that an unofficial Avs fan hashtag? I kind of like it.

Anyways, my second thought was that this is my dream. I’ve never played hockey and can’t skate. I’ve probably held a hockey stick in my hands 3 times in my life. To be able to sit in a chair and get pushed around a rink would be amazing. I can only imagine I’d feel like I was flying. But to really complete the fantasy I needed to select someone to be the wind beneath my wings. Who would create the perfect updraft and send me in to a blissful flight.

The obvious first choices are Kane/Toews/Keith/Seabrook. The core of the team that has given me infinite hockey joy. But my fantasies involving these grown men felt almost forced. Perhaps select Ovi? Everyone loves a winner. Nah. Can’t choose directly from the top shelf.

Once I thought of him, the answer was clear. Artemi Panarin, the bread maker. He’s the one that got away. I’ll never forget where I was when I learned he was getting shipped to CBJ. He’s the kind of person you want to slow motion run towards and jump in their arms. Watching him skate is almost painful for me. But vicariously skating through him? It just seems so delicious. But coming down to brass tax, I this gif sticks in my brain and I want to know what it feels like to be able to do this:

I know I can’t feel that sitting in a chair. But I wouldn’t want to try with anyone else.

Miss you buddy.

-Z